I'd like to keep it a secret.

so I'll have something left to give.

tomorrow is Halloween, the "Partyscene."
I also have a test tomorrow, skipping is out of the question.

I just love Chelsea, no questions.

Estee, sheesh, we'll ALWAYS be bestfriends. its just meant to be that
way haha.
^^^ speaking of estee. thanks to our evaluation of "dating" I've come to
the conclusion that I am now dating, opening up my eyes to the options I
have ;)

Courtney has become one of my best friends all over again and I love
that girl to death!

Tia and I have become better friends than I ever thought we could be. I
tell her pretty much everything now.

I miss Erica, really.

I miss Brandi, really.

I miss my sister mostly, she's the only one who's put up with me for my
16 years of breathing.

I had dinner the other night with my club at school. Jr. Civitan. It was
our Living History dinner with the elderly. I'll admit, while sitting in
Brooklyn's passenger seat of her VW beetle, I thought itd be awkward.
how do I interview the elderly? what if they can't understand me. I met
Fran, the sweetest woman alive. Alongside we're 3 others; outrageously
wild! they "don't go to Mcdonald's next door for the hamburgers, [they]
go for the boys!" I learned so much, I realized just how wise my elders
are.

I fought with my mom again. its funny how a mother and daughter are
sweet from birth, sour in the teens, and sweet again once the daughter
reaches adulthood. I called her 3 times @ work today just to apologize.
I love you Momma.

My dad is my number one man in my life. I love him so much. really, I
don't know what I'd do without him. he's everything. I love you Dad.

I don't know who I've become lately, and I really would like to go
back.
--
jessieebugg.

no way they were dancing; they were romancing.

this is the only person I truly miss right now :[
I'm in the pursuit of an overdue boyfriend; I mean we're talking 2 years
of loneliness people. and I have no sister to turn to for advice.
However, I wish her luck and send her love to her NY apartment and hope
medical school isn't kicking her ass too hard.

"in this life, family is the most precious gift. turn your back on them
and that is when you truly have nothing left."
--
jessieebugg.

sweet expression or love and affection?

yesterday was friday, and wonderful. went to chelsea's for a bit and
chilled with sarahperry, charlie, austin and kat.

~~~~~~~~~~~

anyway, I had to leave and get ready for my Junior Civitan installation
banquet. if you don't know what that is, I'm sorry. I planned on seeing
the love of my life afterwards, but I ended up hanging out with Clara,
Brooklyn and Denise.
the haunted river at AL killed my soul haha. it was ridicccc. as if I'm
not afraid enough, lets add surprises and other random shit. sorry.

I didn't realize how many people I actually knew until that night haha.
Carson called and wanted me to go to jackrabbits, unfortunately, I live
10293489210 miles away and didn't have a willing ride. nonetheless, I
love that kid deathly.

I love you all actually, tonight I'm going to see my best friend
EricaJoyLabad for the first time in ages.....2 weeks.

I wish I had the time to write something a bit more interesting and
tasteful but I don't, soon though.
--
jessieebugg.

time erodes all such beauty, but it cannot diminish all the wonderful workings of the mind.

this is my last post, that is, at the age of 15. in 2 hours and 47
minutes, I will have been breathing in the Earth's air for 16 yrs.

I'm no math student, but if I could multiply 365 days by 16 (leap years
included) then I'd use the result to emphasize this big deal.

did you know, the moment you're born, you're dying? weird right?

I want to thank everyone that has been in my life so far, regardless if
you've played a positive role in it or not. I would have seen what I
have seen without you, nor would I have heard what I have heard. I would
not have learned what I know, I would not be, who i am.

I once heard that Family is the most precious gift in life, and to turn
your back on them, is when you truly have nothing left. I am
appreciative in the sense that I do not have to ask myself this
question, but curious I will forever be; what if they turn their back on
you?

Friends are your extended family, the family members you choose in your
own personal imaginitive family. I am relieved and happy to say that I
have a rather large extended family, thank you all :)

I am still in love with the person who has more than shaped me into who
I am today. without him I would not be this sane. With you not around
anymore, I'm starting to realize how great of an impact you had and
still have on me. I miss you, please come back to me darling, dear.

Birthdays to me are like, well, its like regression. I regress back to
my childhood where I didn't wear half as much make up, where I didn't
talk like a such a dirty sailor, where I could bask in my innocence. How
do we grow so far apart from the way before because of a simple change
in numbers?

I'm going to sleep tonight, the last slumber of being 15. I never lived
up to my age, I actually exceeded it. 16 will never suit me, my current
age in a given time never will. My looks are too mature, my Mind is
young, but filled with the wisest of wisdom; received from my mother,
father, sister, everyone.

I love you all, so very much. From my youth to yours, Goodnight.

pictures: reeeecap!
--
jessieebugg.