..."can i get some love?"
there's no stopping us.
i saw the cutest video the other night. one of those nights where i shut off my phone and disappeared for a while. i love quiet nights in. it gives me time to remember that i can breathe on my own, think of my own, get by, on my own.
anyway, it was a montage. just a whole bunch of clips of this adorable couple with the lovely lady visiting her long distance boyfriend for a week during Christmas. and within this week, he took her to as many places as possible. he even took her to Forks, the little town that Twilight was filmed at. Aside from the cute background music and editing, i loved the idea that it was a video of clips. clips, like, moments. and it was with that very thought that i realized, thats all that life really is. just a whole bunch of moments. usually they're lousy, but every now and then we manage to dig around and find a good one. And when we do, that's when we want to hold onto it as if we've never wanted to hold onto something before. as if it has so much value that letting it go would be like throwing away money in this 'recession.' savor every moment that you have, darlings. because really, thats all we have.
I've been able to see my twin, Erica Labad a lot more lately. i spent a bit of my New Years with her but left just in time to be with my family when the ball dropped. besides, i couldnt miss hearing my mom critiquing J-Lo throughout her NYC New Years performance. if you need a second opinion on your weight, ask my mom, she'll give it to you straight. I've missed her, i really have. thats all.
I was the gas station today when i ran into a friend of mine. this friend of mine also used to be my crush in 1st grade. (after typing that sentence, i realized that my infatuation with love started too early for my own good.) anyway, of course, in first grade, it was an unrequited crush where my love for him was futile, haha. N, HE, WAY, i saw him pull up a few pumps away from me. he saw my car, reversed, and relocated himself to the one nearest me. he said hello and smiled. he didnt know this, but i could see him through my window's reflection. he was watching me, the whole time. i couldnt help but laugh to myself. he still has his adorable charm that he had 11 years ago. except i dont desire to have him by my side anymore. i think its crazy what a few years of maturing will do to someone. be careful who you ignore, kiddies, you just might end up staring at them your next visit to the gas station.
this is when i usually tell you about a cute couple, a sad couple, a couple in the making, etc. that i saw recently, give my analysis, relate it my life and call it day. but surprisingly, i have my own story! nowhere near to the word 'couple' but it was still overwhelmingly cute. so, here goes nothing.
I went to Midtown Deli today, a new restaurant that just opened up at the beach by my work that, in a few words, blows Panera out of the water. anyway, i went with a dear friend of mine, Jessica Bowling. we sat down, ate our vegetable soup and drank the apple cider that was on the house due to their broken heater inside, teamed up with the 30 degree weather outside. towards the end of our endless conversation and binge eating session, 3 men came into the joint. One, so good looking you just knew he was trouble. Another, so handsome you didnt even want to try. and the Last one, who was so charmingly cute that i marked him mine. They sat a few tables away and i made sure not to stare as obviously as i normally do. horrible habit that ruins my game, i'd say. (did i mention that we were the only two parties in the place?) so, the Last one and i made eye contact every now and then, id hear whispers and nervous laughs when i'd walk by to pick up napkins or for whatever excuse i had to walk by. Eventually, Jessica and I left, and i still hadn't spoken to him. All disappointed, we walked out to my car and i stopped, dead in front of Yogaberry. there was NO way i was going to let him or my opportunity to meet him, slip away. so we went into Yogaberry which is located ever so conveniently next door to Midtown, and we planted ourselves at a table right by the window. No joke, while i was waiting for my order, i was praying to the Big Guy upstairs that he'd at least let me meet the Last one. So, i sat down and we ate our frozen yogurt. 10 minutes later, the attractive bunch walked by and i started to smile uncontrollably. Then, they stopped in the exact same spot that Jessica and I had stopped at earlier. Before i knew it, i heard Jessica saying, "He's coming! He's coming in!" it was in slow motion; he came inside, and approached me.
I dont think i was breathing the whole time we talked, but, he introduced himself, Zack is his name, and he earned my number.
It's only been 6 hours since i've met him and i feel as giddy as i did when i was 14 years old and met another person who had the same effect on me.
I just think, that had i not been brave and not lingered around a little bit longer, i'd have had to deal with the whole, "but what IF i actually did..." i cant stand those thoughts. they pester me, they irk me, they discomfort me.
thats all i have to say about that. maybe it's not half as exciting on paper, but when it happened, i could have sworn i was dreaming.
My Mom has been brainwashed with the stress about my Debutante Ball.
Every time we talk now, it's strictly in annoyance and hostility because when she stresses, EVERYONE in the house stresses.
attitudes truly are contagious and that's not just a phony phrase in grade school classroom posters.
i guess you could say the majority of our interactions lately have been part of those 98% lousy life moments.
But, in the midst of my overwhelming and outrageous amount of schoolwork, anxiety about working 2 jobs, and constant doubt/wonder as to whether 2010 will leave me as lonely as 2009 did, i still manage to steal a good moment out of my life when i can. i think it's what i do to stay alive, to stay sane. i savor the goodness.
i'll add more later.
but, honestly? I'm tired boss, dog tired.
Goodnight, sweethearts.
-jLv
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